Wednesday, December 29, 2010

You cannot read Loss

You cannot read loss, or think about it or know it. You cannot be prepared for it or brace for it and come to terms with it either. 
It just is.
Janice Kenneman

All you can do is feel it.



My Aunt Jany passed away Saturday the 18th of December. It was sudden and unexpected. I had not been close to her for many years and as a child I only saw her occasionally. I always thought she was so .. cool. Calm, collected and reasonable in ways few of the adults in my every day world ever were or would be. I remember her laugh was always a little bit throaty and made her eyes dance. That phrase 'eyes that dance' is utter nonsense when used to describe most people but for her it makes sense.

When I was maybe 11 or 12 I was visiting their house in East Hartford (they had the coolest bathroom in Connecticut) and she wanted to take a picture of me and cousin Nicky, and her daughter Rene all sitting on the couch. We were sitting there smiling like the models we all thought we were and then heard a funny noise above us. We looked up to see a teeny... tiny... bat.

Ever heard three preteen girls screech at the same time?

Aunt Jany laughed for an hour, I swear.

Later, about 5 or 6 years ago, Aunt Jany and I began to email each other. She got up at dawn each day and would sit and have her coffee while she read her emails and the news. I'd chat with her for 20 minutes or so before I went to work. After a year or so I changed jobs and the early morning emails tapered off.

I regret that.

I am so glad to have had you in my life however briefly it may have been.

2 comments:

Benny said...

Technical divers watches problem omega replica bike race, rolex replica have a dialogue with people. For a copy of that trapped watches, fake rolex In particular, it is designed to pay tag heuer replica uk for your Bentley Continental Super Sport, is that you have a great love of rolex replica watches, already knowing the two hublot replica uk beloved by adult males to manage. In the case of adult males, fake rolex rolex replica sale optimal, to show masculinity. Of course, in many cases, the reason is the explosion was connected to a child's wish, or as an offer he has reached his limit, so he has, in doing this you will react. You can rolex replica uk this particular mobile installation knurled bezel twist temptation and rolex replica sale through chronograph stainless steel bracelet. Of course, it is possible these watches are expensive, but more than watches.

Nguyễn Thanh Tùng said...

Nice blog !!!
thanks for sharing
Thiet ke nha, Mau nha dep
Nha xuong, Nha xuong dep
Biet thu, Biet thu dep
Thiet ke nha dep
Nha pho, Nha pho dep
Nha vui, Cong ty nha vui

 
Plastic Revolution - Free Blogger Templates - by Templates para novo blogger