2018 listical!

Hello, hello!

First, I’ve been sad. So sad. Tonight however, I was reminded how good people can be. I stopped at a local MickyDs to pee and ran into my sons bandmate whose van was stuck in the ice. His mom was trying to chop it away. Mind you it’s like 3 degrees here. So I stopped and rummaged in my trunk for anything to help. Finally I went inside and asked them to bring out some salt. A few strangers stopped and helped us rock and push the van out of the ice. Everyone cheered and hugged. I felt genuinely happy and connected. I needed that.

My hands are freezing.

It’s New Year’s Eve and you know what that means! One of my very favorite things.

A listicle!

Things I want for 2018.

1. Drink less
2. Go camping at the beach. Ideally with the boys and friends but alone is okay too.
3. Get a haircut
4. Sing aloud more
5. Let go and let god
6. Just kidding, god doesn’t know I exist
7. Be in the moment
8. Just enjoy the bubble
9. Dance naked under a full moon.
10. Spend more brunches with Rachel
11. Return those damn student loan calls.

And 12? Start writing down all the autobiographical short stories in my head and make a book. (Thanks Maura for the encouragement)

13. Blog more, it’s like free theray
14. On that note go to therapy more.
15. Get in the car one Friday afternoon and drive somewhere by accident and don’t return till Sunday.

And some oldies I am still working on

16. Learn to freaking sew.
17. Make more art no matter how shitty
18 . Get a tattoo or two
19. Fix my nose piercing
20. Love more freely and unconditionally
21. Be more adventures.
22. Wear my glasses every day.

Ps. I posted this on my phone, fingers crossed it’s not all wonky looking. 

Chachacha....changes: On Transitions

-ahem-

Hi! How are you?! Friend? Are you there, Friend?

My last post here was  What do you DO? and I am so pleased to finally be doing something I love enough that I would, and have, do it for free.  I'm helping grow young leaders in my community, teaching the most entertaining sex ed classes ever and exposing young people to all the opportunities I can.

I don't really work but I do get paid for it.

That's not what I want to write about today though. Today I want to write about.. change.

My children are grown and have recently gotten apartment together. Since I recently took a.. like.. 15,000 pay cut and I moved into a friends spare room for a bit.  Just me and my best guy.

So here I am, on my own, with no one to wait up for or to carry the groceries for me or to blame for the mess.

It is the saddest I have felt in a very long time and the first time I actually felt lonely. I am finding myself getting really invested in things to worry about because worry is my comfort food. I feel calmer when I am worried about something. Don't you worry though because goddamn I can find things to worry about. City Council being dumbasses? Worry! Youth in trouble and can't go to their parents? Worry! Our fucking asshat douche canoe of a 'President' is still allowed to use twitter? WORRY!

2017 has been a bitter disappointment. I had some of the most anxiety ridden days of my life, some of the sweetest and some of the darkest. And I got to go to the beach, once.

(I love Snapchat, its so unbelievably narcissistic and hilarious at the same time)

Things that happened in 2017:

1. We actually inaugurated a vile sociopathic sexual predator and I don't want him impeached because Pence is even more fucking dangerous. 

2. I started swearing a lot more. 

3. I went to a Casino for the first time (holy shit that was bizarre.. and kind of wonderful)

4. I got to play bartender at an event! Bucket list! ($100 in tips ain't too shabby)

5. I broke my ankle again AND a toe. Two separate events. 

6. I ran a super kick ass summer camp. 

7. Actual text exchange I had with my boss one day 

Me: So I am at the beach and I really want to stay another day, is there any way you can cover for me tomorrow?

Boss: Do you mean you went to the beach with friends and the car broke down and it can't be fixed until tomorrow?

Me: ....... Yes, that is exactly what I meant, damn auto correct. 

8. I quit a job and it was spectacular. 

9. I was almost immediately offered two part time jobs instead. They called me and asked me to apply. 

10. I took a giant leap of faith and fell flat on my face. Which I am pretty sure we all saw coming.

“When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they’re not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They’re upset because they’ve gone from supervisor of a child’s life to a spectator. It’s like being the vice president of the United States.”

—Erma Bombeck

Oh, and one more

 I made it to level 23 in Pokemon Go. #TeamYellow

This transition is scary for me but I know that everything will be okay. 

Right?